holiday?

Well, this was probably the quietest holiday weekend I’ve ever spent. I think I spoke aloud to a person half a dozen times. I had the dogs to talk to though….

Times really have changed. Used to be, I’d really want to be with my family and I couldn’t. Now, no one is there. They’re all busy and I’m just alone.

Luckily, Dawkins and Murphy helped fill the void a bit. Maybe I’ll see some family today- I hope so. I’m bored of my own company.

This time of my life is so confusing. I’m happy and sad… Content and unfulfilled…lonely and sad and happy to be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. No idea what I want though. I suppose that’s the problem. So many years of running around, trying to be everywhere, wishing things were different…. And now they are different. So much so! But, I feel like my time to BE what I wanted before has passed and I don’t know who I am sometimes. Or who I want to be.

Ugh. I’m sure that makes very little sense. I guess I can’t explain it very well. I hope I can figure this out soon- time is short.